Quin Harman

It is with a heavy heart that I write about my granddaddy's funeral.

It was the last night of our vacation and I had just crawled into bed at 3:30 am. I know what you are thinking and it was due to an over-zealous game of cranium that we arrived back so late. Then at approximately 5 am my phone rang and my heart clinched into a terrible knot. I couldn't bring myself to answer because I knew what was awaiting me at the other end of that line. My aunt left a message and then immediately called back and this time I answered. It was true. My grandfather had passed away. Angela needed my mother's phone number and broke down a few times while trying to ask for it. As I hung up the phone with her, I prayed a short and simple prayer and waited for my mother to call. She called sobbing and distraught. I did all I could do to comfort her and reassured her that Shane and I would be there no matter what (there had been debate as to where the funeral would be held, North Carolina or Wichita Falls, TX).

I waited a short time and then began to make my own calls. I called Janice first as she is my constant, outside of God and Shane, and got the reassurance I was looking for. Then I called Nan (Shane's Grandmother) as I knew she would know exactly what to say and what to pray. I was a little blubbery after that and could not talk to anyone.

Friday night Angela asked me to put something together to say at the service and perhaps a song on a CD. Well that's easy you say, no, not at all. My g-dad wasn't overly demonstrative or loving. He wasn't a Christian man by any means and he wasn't big on civil duties either. No that just wasn't him. He did teach all 6 of his grandkids to drive and fish. He was always ready to give you a cold coke and a story, but he hide his true feelings more often than not. So what do you say about a man that wasn't cruel but wasn't loving, who had a very small family and almost no friends, who didn't do much in his community and didn't really believe in a life after this one? Yeah, I didn't know either.

I suggested a WWII song, sung by Billie Holiday that simply says I'll be seeing you in all our old familiar places, but that was turned down. Instead, I was asked to sing Turn! Turn! Turn! by the Byrds as we drove to the grave site. Luckily, my aunt had the words written down and I sang it a cappella which helped since I am only slightly familiar with it. Then my cousin and I sang Silent Night because he requested it every Christmas and it usually brought him to tears and caused him to leave the room. He was a navel man after all and as such should never cry.
At the service, I read the poem below and was able to get through it fairly well. Although, when my cousin Dustin spoke I drenched my hankie and had to dig out the spare I brought just in case.

At the grave site the navel men did a taps solute. The piece was originally purely instrumental, but I found these lyrics as I was searching the full significance of the ceremony.
Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright
From afar drawing nigh, Falls the night.
Day is done, gone the sun
From the hills, from the lake, from the sky
All is well, safely rest; God is nigh.
Then goodnight, peaceful night;
Till the light of the dawn shineth bright.
God is near, do not fear, Friend, goodnight.

The sound of that clear trumpet was so moving. Honestly, if this had been any other day and I saw my beautiful countries flag blazing in the sun and those men in uniform playing that clear sweet trumpet. I believe that my heart would have swelled, exactly as it did, and my eyes would have overflowed with the emotions that were transpiring inside of me.

After it was all over, I just could deal with it any longer. I didn't want to hear the familiar family bickering and snide comments. I really was too exhausted for any of that, so Shane and I chose to cowboy up and soldier on and make the long trip home. Well...with a pit stop in Burleson for some sweet tea and burritos (what a great combo).

We arrived home about 2ish in the morning and I thought I would fall over dead, but I didn't. I lay there tossing and turning and have continued to do so for many nights hence.

If I should die and leave you here awhile,
Be not like others, sore undone, who keep
Long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.
For my sake turn again to life and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hands to do
Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.
Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine
And I perchance may therein comfort you.
A. Price Hughes